Emory Luce Baldwin, Certified Parent Educator and Marriage and Family Therapist, Telephone: 301-588-1451
3839 Farragut Avenue, Kensington, MD 20895
(301) 588-1451
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"Helping families, children and adolescents
grow well."

Magic Thinking

From "The Heart of Parenting" column
by Emory Luce Baldwin, LCMFT
Published in the Takoma Voice, September 2007

When my children were young, I loved introducing them to the magical worlds of Santa Claus, tooth fairies, and blowing out the birthday cake candles wishes. I was a magical thinking enabler for my kids. I helped them write letters and put out cookies for Santa. I tiptoed into their rooms after they were asleep to feel around for a tiny tooth under their pillow and to leave some shiny coins in its place. Admittedly, I probably went over the top when I suggested putting out miniature foods and drinks for the fairie's midsummer's eve parties-but, what the heck, it was a lot of fun! My husband was frankly skeptical, but I thought our magical fantasy play was innocent fun of childhood.

Now I am afraid I may have overdone it.

Not that my teenagers still believe in Santa Claus and tooth fairies, but they're still showing every sign of clinging to magical thinking with a tenacious grip. This is how magical thinking works for older kids: Ice cube trays refill themselves. Milk and juice cartons put themselves back in the refrigerator. Crumbs, bread wrappers, cutting boards, mustard, lunch meat, etc., will put themselves away. Wet towels left on the bathroom floor will hang themselves up to dry. Shoes, books, makeup, magazines, pens and paper are no trouble for anyone when left scattered around the sofa, the stairs, the floor, the table, or wherever you were last using them.

I'm pretty sure my kids are using magical thinking because of the look of innocent confusion on their faces when I point out to them that no one is going to pick up after them but themselves. This is almost always a new concept when I re-introduce it to them.

Emory Luce Baldwin, LCMFT, is both a Family Therapist working with families in Takoma Park and Kensington and a Certified Parent Educator with the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP). You can contact Emory at 301-588-1451 or e-mail emory@emorylucebaldwin.com.